Dear friend,
When I decided to capture the “one another” statements in the form of a handsome wooden block, I realized I was going to have to choose which six to use. I chose these six in part because of how they have impacted me personally, but probably more so because it just seemed to me that these six are particularly necessary for our world at this time. When I see things like the lack of concern for those who are hurting, the missing civility in our public discourse, and the way social media seems to be a perpetual stream of self-righteous critique, I couldn’t help but think how the simple admonitions to “love one another”, “build one another up”, “forgive one another”, “not complain [or grumble] about one another”, “carry one another’s burdens”, and “live in peace with one another” are exactly what we all need to be doing more consistently.
I sincerely thank you for taking the time to consider each one of these six convicting principles more deeply.
-Korey Loughry
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” - Jesus, to His disciples shortly before His crucifixion (John’s biography of Jesus - chapter 13, verses 34-35)
“For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.” - John, a disciple of Jesus (John’s first letter - chapter 3, verse 11)
“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.” - Peter, a disciple and apostle of Jesus (Peter’s first letter - chapter 3, verse 8)
“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.” - Paul, an apostle of Jesus (letter to Christians in Rome - chapter 13, verse 8)
It would be difficult to imagine a more universally agreed upon virtue than that of love. We all tend to agree - at least in principle - that to value others and to treat them well is the right thing to do. If there’s any question as to whether or not we expect others to treat us well, just think back to a time when someone simply cut in line in front of you. The reason we tend to become infuriated by such rudeness is that we universally agree that people ought to love one another, and we know what it looks like when someone doesn’t.
Multiple individuals encourage us to “love one another”, within the New Testament writings, originally written in ancient Greek. Interestingly, there are three different Greek words that can be translated as “love” in English, but they mean three different things: 1) romance, 2) friendship, or 3) valuing someone to such a degree that it causes you to do what is truly in their best interest, over your own. It is this third type of love - valuing someone enough to act on it - that was used in the scripture references above.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Paul’s letter to the Colossians - chapter 3, verses 12-13
One of the most profound, yet unnatural, actions we can ever take is to truly forgive someone who has wronged us. The reason it’s so remarkable is that it’s in our nature to want to equalize the debt we feel when someone wrongs us. We instinctively want to pay them back. To write that offense off goes against our innate sense of justice.
While some people think forgiveness is a religious concept, it actually has its roots in the banking system. If a lender wants to write off a debt owed to them, they can forgive that debt - cancel it, consider it paid in full. Within our relationships - just as within banking - the act of forgiveness comes at a high price. The banker must take on the debt themselves, agreeing to never collect the money owed them. In our relationships, true forgiveness also considers the debt to have been paid, never to be collected in the future.
When the apostle Paul wrote to Christians in the town of Colosse in the first century, he directed them to just one supreme example to model their forgiveness from - that of the forgiveness they themselves were recipients of.
”Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians - chapter 5, verse 11
“So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.” Paul’s letter to the Romans - chapter 14, verse 19
The way we treat the people we interact with every day can be narrowed to merely two options: we tear one another down, or we build one another up. If we look back over our past interactions (and are honest with ourselves), we have to admit that our attitudes - and subsequent words and actions - accomplished one of these two things. We built others up, or we tore them down. It’s a sobering thought.
When we speak of “building up”, the language of a construction site is pretty obvious. We all marvel when we see construction crews take an open lot and build something of value on it. And amazingly, each and every day we too get to be constructive in the lives of everyone we fall in step with. We have the great opportunity to invest ourselves in one another, building people up in a way that will bring deep encouragement to their hearts and lasting inspiration to their lives.
“Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Paul’s letter to the Galatians - chapter 6, verse 2
While writing to a group of Christians in the ancient town of Galatia, the Apostle Paul instructed them to “carry one another’s burdens”, and then a few sentences later, he instructed them to “carry their own load”. What looks at first glance like a contradiction is only an apparent contradiction. When you examine the actual words Paul used - in the language he actually wrote in - you discover that the load we are to carry for ourselves is what would be manageable for one person (envision a backpack), whereas the burdens we are to assist others with are the excessive loads (envision a dozen backpacks!) that would be too much for any of us. We need to be asking ourselves on a regular basis, “Who do I know that seems weighed down and needs someone to help them bear their burden?” And then be ready to come alongside whoever it is and “fulfill the law of Christ”, (the principle of burden-bearing love), by bearing that burden as though it were your own.
"Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door." James, chapter 5, verse 9
For anyone who has ever lived through a painful time in their lives, you know how easy it is to become impatient with those around us, regardless of who they are and whether or not they’re actually the source of our pain. How often does someone, who is actually your ally through adversity, become the focus of your frustration? We often fail to appreciate those who are there for us, especially at a time when we are hurting. That was the situation that James (half-brother of Jesus) was addressing when he wrote the statement below, in the first century. The people he wrote to were facing tremendous challenges, and James knew that they needed reminded of a couple things. First, they needed reminded that times of suffering don’t last forever. When he wrote, “the Judge is standing right at the door”, that’s at least a large part of what he meant. The time when the One who will settle all matters in perfect justice is close at hand. Secondly, James knew they needed reminded that while you are waiting for the suffering to end, don’t take it out on those around you. Too often we think that if we don’t physically attack someone, we can pat ourselves on the back. But the truth is, our words of grumbling or complaining can be just as devastating to the health of our relationships. When you’re hurting the most, remember to be that much more careful to guard your tongue and not complain about one another.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Paul’s letter to the Romans - chapter 12, verse 18
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” letter to the Hebrews - chapter 12, verse 14
We tend to think of peace as merely the absence of conflict. While that is part of what is meant by peace, it is so much more than that. Peace in its fullest sense is life aligned fully with what is true and right, from the objective point of view. And while we will probably not get to see a world that is fully at peace in this sense, we are called to live in as much of that peace as we can, with as many people as we can.
The apostle Paul and the author of the letter to the Hebrews almost sound a little pessimistic that living in peace like this will actually work out to the extent we would like to see. Let’s be honest - phrases like, “If it is possible…” and “…as far as it depends on you” sound a little like, “Yes, do your part! …but don’t expect much!” I think we can all relate to this. After all, even when I thought peace merely referred to, “the absence of conflict”, I still tended to have a hard time actually believing that sort of peace would ever be achieved in any sort of comprehensive way. Let alone when I think of the true understanding of peace as life in a world that is fully aligned with what is true and right from God’s vantage point. This deeper definition of peace sometimes feels like aiming for the stars, and while we might be tempted to settle for, “…don’t expect much!”, what we need to remember is that what we might expect never sets aside our personal obligation: “Yes, do your part!”